1 00:00:00,607 --> 00:00:04,236 ♪ Hold fast to the law 2 00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:08,599 ♪ of the last cold tome 3 00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:12,282 ♪ Where the earth of the truth 4 00:00:12,807 --> 00:00:16,516 ♪ Lies thick upon the page 5 00:00:16,887 --> 00:00:19,845 ♪ And the loam of faith 6 00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,878 ♪ In the ink long fled 7 00:00:22,407 --> 00:00:26,719 ♪ From the drone of the nib flows on 8 00:00:28,007 --> 00:00:33,127 ♪ Till the last of the first depart 9 00:00:33,407 --> 00:00:38,276 ♪ And the least of the past is dust 10 00:00:38,807 --> 00:00:47,636 ♪ And the dust, the dust is lost 11 00:00:48,247 --> 00:00:51,557 ♪ Hold fast 12 00:00:51,607 --> 00:00:57,239 ♪ Gormenghast 13 00:00:57,407 --> 00:01:02,481 ♪ Gormenghast ♪ 14 00:01:07,327 --> 00:01:10,842 Congratulations, ladies. You've never been braver or more brilliant. 15 00:01:10,887 --> 00:01:12,684 Will we get our coaches? 16 00:01:12,727 --> 00:01:14,843 Yes. Do as I've told you. 17 00:01:14,887 --> 00:01:18,357 - Will we get our thrones? - Yes, everything. 18 00:01:18,407 --> 00:01:20,762 Now go back to your apartments and wait. 19 00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:22,880 (Baby cries ) 20 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,642 (Thinks ) Hero, Steerpike. 21 00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:34,037 (Groan ) As I say, Master Secretary, this day 22 00:01:34,087 --> 00:01:36,760 two months hence - my lady, the bird - 23 00:01:38,607 --> 00:01:39,801 I say... 24 00:01:40,607 --> 00:01:43,883 (Sighs ) Nurse, the child. 25 00:01:43,927 --> 00:01:47,886 I want a breakfast for him, it's that simple. 26 00:01:47,927 --> 00:01:50,122 He is my son, isn't he? 27 00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:52,123 Are you hungry, my love? 28 00:01:52,167 --> 00:01:56,240 The time chosen, is when we should be celebrating the laureate. 29 00:01:56,287 --> 00:01:57,720 The poet can wait. 30 00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,564 Why is everybody so old? 31 00:01:59,607 --> 00:02:01,438 The sol...the solst... 32 00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:02,761 The solstice. 33 00:02:02,807 --> 00:02:07,517 The solstice can't! Neither, then, can the consecration of the moat. 34 00:02:07,567 --> 00:02:08,602 (Whimpers ) 35 00:02:08,647 --> 00:02:10,365 Irma, my dear! 36 00:02:10,407 --> 00:02:13,843 Clearly scheduled for that day by rote and moon. 37 00:02:13,887 --> 00:02:15,684 Squallor, what's with your sister? 38 00:02:15,727 --> 00:02:20,118 A case of atmosphere, as far as I can judge, Your Ladyship. 39 00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:21,566 Smoke, Alfred, smoke! 40 00:02:21,847 --> 00:02:25,999 Flay, open the door. I think that's settled, Mr Secretary. 41 00:02:26,047 --> 00:02:29,119 As this gathering was sanctioned without my knowledge 44 00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:38,405 Door locked, Lordship. 45 00:02:38,447 --> 00:02:40,005 Locked, Alfred, it's locked! 46 00:02:40,047 --> 00:02:41,400 (Irma screams ) What's that? 47 00:02:42,527 --> 00:02:46,918 A bird, my dear, flying high, out of the...ah, smoke. 48 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:50,562 Mrs Slagg, kindly convey His Minute Lordship to the door 49 00:02:50,607 --> 00:02:52,882 and hold his mouth to the keyhole. 50 00:02:53,647 --> 00:02:55,046 I never heard of such a thing. 51 00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,486 (Gertrude ) Where's my rook? 52 00:02:56,527 --> 00:02:58,597 What shall we do, Dr Pru? 53 00:02:58,647 --> 00:03:02,686 - Is there another door? Lordship? - I don't know where. 54 00:03:02,727 --> 00:03:06,436 Could we breach the original?. Battery and assault. 55 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:09,285 - Flay! - oak, Lordship. Four inch. 56 00:03:09,807 --> 00:03:12,685 (Screams ) Flames! Alfred! Flames! 57 00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:18,322 Slagg! Take his young master to the door! As I told you. 58 00:03:18,367 --> 00:03:21,564 We're going to be trapped by flames. 59 00:03:21,607 --> 00:03:23,996 - Dr Pru... - Damned gathering! 60 00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:27,564 This is what you get for unprecedented breakfasts! 61 00:03:28,247 --> 00:03:29,441 Flame? 62 00:03:29,487 --> 00:03:31,796 My library! 63 00:03:31,847 --> 00:03:34,725 Slagg! The child! The keyhole! 64 00:03:36,207 --> 00:03:38,767 (Groan ) My books! 65 00:03:44,607 --> 00:03:45,801 Alfred! 66 00:03:46,047 --> 00:03:50,882 Irma, my humiliating sister, please sit down. Alfred will do the rest. 67 00:03:51,007 --> 00:03:52,599 We're going to die! 68 00:03:53,087 --> 00:03:54,679 Sit down, damn you! 69 00:03:55,007 --> 00:03:56,406 (Gertrude ) Squallor! 70 00:03:56,647 --> 00:04:01,198 Lady Fuchsia, see that Mrs Slagg keeps Titus by the door. 71 00:04:01,247 --> 00:04:02,885 Squallor, is that you? 72 00:04:02,927 --> 00:04:05,361 It is, or rather Prunesquallor, which is, 73 00:04:05,407 --> 00:04:08,240 if I may say so, more strictly correct. 74 00:04:08,287 --> 00:04:10,243 Quiet man! Smash a window! 75 00:04:10,287 --> 00:04:11,720 Yes, Your Ladyship. 76 00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:15,077 Dr Pru, over here, it's Mrs Slagg. 77 00:04:15,127 --> 00:04:17,800 Ladyship, hold him to the keyhole. 78 00:04:17,847 --> 00:04:21,840 No, no, lie still. There is air beneath the door. 79 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:25,197 - Yes, lie...lie still. - Yes, doctor. 80 00:04:25,247 --> 00:04:29,286 Flay! Mr Flay! Where is the largest window? 81 00:04:29,527 --> 00:04:33,645 The north wall... can't reach it...no balcony. 82 00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:35,964 (Splutters ) Alfred! 83 00:04:36,687 --> 00:04:38,757 Come, Ladyship, give me the child. 84 00:04:38,807 --> 00:04:42,686 Now, ask your father to throw his cane at the window. 85 00:04:42,727 --> 00:04:43,921 Yes. 86 00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:46,765 Is that you Fuchsia? Where's Master Chalk? 87 00:04:47,127 --> 00:04:51,006 Damn the bird! Tell your father to smash the glass! 88 00:04:51,047 --> 00:04:53,561 What did you say, Squallor? Come here! 89 00:04:53,607 --> 00:04:55,837 My books, my books. 90 00:04:55,887 --> 00:04:58,685 Father, the doctor said your cane, Father... 91 00:04:58,727 --> 00:04:59,921 (Barquentine yells) 92 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:03,801 Mr Flay! Doctor Pru! The Secretary's on fire! He's burning! 93 00:05:04,007 --> 00:05:05,645 Here, hold your son. Mr Flay! 94 00:05:07,087 --> 00:05:08,884 (Groan ) My books! My books! 95 00:05:09,607 --> 00:05:14,283 Leave him, Flay! Take your master's cane and throw it at the window! 96 00:05:14,327 --> 00:05:16,363 (Barquentine yells, baby screams ) 97 00:05:16,407 --> 00:05:17,601 My books! 98 00:05:18,767 --> 00:05:20,166 Throw it, man! 99 00:05:20,607 --> 00:05:22,199 Not heavy enough, madam. 100 00:05:22,607 --> 00:05:26,077 Paperweight on the table! Find it! Throw the paperweight! 101 00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:27,958 Where? I can't find it. 102 00:05:28,007 --> 00:05:32,717 Then climb the shelves to the window and smack it with the cane. 103 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,644 Help her, Mr Flay! 104 00:05:34,687 --> 00:05:36,678 Master Chalk! Master Chalk! 105 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,398 Alfred! I'm your sister! 106 00:05:43,407 --> 00:05:45,796 Keep steady, Irma. Just keep steady. 107 00:05:45,967 --> 00:05:49,562 Flay, hand Her Ladyship the cane to smash the window! 108 00:05:49,607 --> 00:05:51,484 Help! I can't breathe. 109 00:05:51,527 --> 00:05:53,324 (Barquentine ) Get off of me! 110 00:05:53,607 --> 00:05:55,199 Silence, sister! Ladyship, hurry! 111 00:05:55,887 --> 00:05:57,206 (Screams ) 112 00:05:57,247 --> 00:06:00,683 My books! My books! 113 00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:06,276 Hold on, Here comes the ladder. 114 00:06:06,327 --> 00:06:07,555 My books...my books. 115 00:06:10,207 --> 00:06:12,596 Where's my bird? Where is he? 116 00:06:13,927 --> 00:06:15,519 (Prunesquallor) Wait! 117 00:06:16,287 --> 00:06:18,278 Master Chalk! Where is he? 118 00:06:18,807 --> 00:06:24,006 Here, take him! Take him out of here. out of here! Hold him! 119 00:06:27,247 --> 00:06:31,081 Flay! Mrs Slagg! 120 00:06:33,807 --> 00:06:39,086 Good man, Flay! Come now, Mrs Slagg, first the left foot, then the right. 121 00:06:39,127 --> 00:06:42,324 - Your Young Ladyship. - Thank you, Dr Pru. 122 00:06:42,367 --> 00:06:43,846 After you, Your Ladyship. 123 00:06:43,887 --> 00:06:46,276 We shall speak, you damned my bird. 124 00:06:46,327 --> 00:06:48,841 - oh, Alfred. - Come, squirming sister, 125 00:06:48,887 --> 00:06:54,962 it's time to breathe the air. And you...you, sir, Mr Secretary. 126 00:06:55,007 --> 00:06:56,201 oh. 127 00:06:56,247 --> 00:07:02,641 - Lordship...Lordship. - My books...my books. 128 00:07:03,407 --> 00:07:05,637 (Excited chatter) 129 00:07:10,127 --> 00:07:12,595 - Let me help you, my Lord. - No, not you. 130 00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:17,561 (Coughing, spluttering) 131 00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:23,604 My books. My books. They burned my books. 132 00:07:30,687 --> 00:07:31,881 Irma, my dear... 133 00:07:39,327 --> 00:07:40,521 (Birds chirping) 134 00:07:40,687 --> 00:07:41,881 My son? 135 00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:43,805 You said the boy. 136 00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:46,680 My son. Where is my son? 137 00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:51,755 You said bring the boy, Lordship - the rescuer, it's him. 138 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:58,641 I meant my son, not him. I said I want my son. 139 00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:02,397 You'll see him for his damned breakfast. Get out! 140 00:08:02,447 --> 00:08:05,996 - It was a great privilege... - I said out! 141 00:08:06,047 --> 00:08:09,835 Stand there grimacing like a red-arsed baboon. Get out! 142 00:08:09,887 --> 00:08:11,081 Thank you, Lordship. 143 00:08:11,127 --> 00:08:13,721 (Barquentine ) The iron rule. No change... 144 00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,166 Who was that? 145 00:08:15,207 --> 00:08:16,560 No damned gatherings! 146 00:08:16,647 --> 00:08:19,844 (Barquentine )..time chosen, we should be celebrating the laureate. 147 00:08:20,327 --> 00:08:23,922 By the rote. By the way of the stone. 148 00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:28,324 Er, would you care to take the air of the day, Lordship? 149 00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:33,566 Damned library! damned breakfast! None of this should have happened! 150 00:08:34,087 --> 00:08:35,679 - Doctor? - Lordship? 151 00:08:36,127 --> 00:08:37,321 Who? 152 00:08:40,047 --> 00:08:41,639 Who burned my books? 153 00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:49,238 - They'll look at us at breakfast. - Because we've the real blood. 154 00:08:49,287 --> 00:08:52,279 And because we're perfect. (Steerpike sniggers ) 155 00:08:52,327 --> 00:08:53,919 Why don't you knock? 156 00:08:54,287 --> 00:08:56,084 I beg pardon, Your Ladyships. 157 00:08:56,127 --> 00:08:57,321 Where's our thrones? 158 00:08:57,367 --> 00:09:00,006 As you said, when we'd burned it. 159 00:09:00,047 --> 00:09:03,437 Every successful revolution has its own pace, Your Ladyships. 160 00:09:03,487 --> 00:09:06,559 Too slow, you rot. Too fast, you fail. 161 00:09:06,607 --> 00:09:08,006 - Slow? - Rot? 162 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,799 - Fast? - (Both) What? 163 00:09:09,847 --> 00:09:13,442 Don't rush. Power must have secure foundations. 164 00:09:15,327 --> 00:09:18,285 Do you want your coaches, your servants? 165 00:09:18,327 --> 00:09:19,521 (Both) our thrones! 166 00:09:19,567 --> 00:09:21,922 For a weekend - then give them back? 167 00:09:21,967 --> 00:09:24,879 - We won't. - We haven't got them. 168 00:09:24,927 --> 00:09:26,883 Not yet, but you will. 169 00:09:28,887 --> 00:09:31,117 Why don't you listen to me? 170 00:09:31,167 --> 00:09:35,240 Haven't I helped you? Look how far you've come already. 171 00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:40,597 Don't you trust me? Do you want me to go away? 172 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,638 I'll go any time you want. 173 00:09:42,687 --> 00:09:46,396 - He told us to burn. - We'll tell them. 174 00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:47,641 We can say... 175 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,281 Thrones! 176 00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:52,080 I have no doubt which you'll choose. 177 00:09:52,127 --> 00:09:55,164 It's unique in the whole history of thrones. 178 00:09:55,207 --> 00:09:56,401 (Both) That one. 179 00:09:56,447 --> 00:09:59,644 How right you are. I'll see the goldsmith tomorrow. 180 00:09:59,687 --> 00:10:02,201 We want them soon. 181 00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:03,885 Ladies, why insult me? 182 00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:05,761 Why insult yourselves? 183 00:10:06,247 --> 00:10:09,444 These are objects of art. They take time. 184 00:10:11,207 --> 00:10:14,802 What? Do you want to be considered laughing stocks, 185 00:10:15,607 --> 00:10:17,996 sitting on great big yellow stools? 186 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:21,558 If you want the best, you have to wait. 187 00:10:21,607 --> 00:10:24,075 - Wait? - Did he say wait? 188 00:10:24,127 --> 00:10:26,960 - I don't think so. - We'll tell. 189 00:10:27,007 --> 00:10:30,124 You will wait! And you will sit down. 190 00:10:30,167 --> 00:10:33,796 And any more talk of burning and you'll be hanged. 191 00:10:33,847 --> 00:10:38,637 Hanged! From your tree at the castle wall with the hangman's rope. 192 00:10:38,727 --> 00:10:42,561 I will see to it personally. Do you understand me? 193 00:10:43,687 --> 00:10:44,881 Good. 194 00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:50,241 Now, you WILL have your thrones. They will be the finest ever made. 195 00:10:50,287 --> 00:10:51,845 Just listen - to me. 196 00:10:51,887 --> 00:10:56,563 Go to the breakfast as you've been invited as part of the family. 197 00:10:56,607 --> 00:11:00,282 Keep your mouths shut. Do you understand? 198 00:11:01,687 --> 00:11:06,078 You shall have it all. Gormenghast. All of it. 199 00:11:07,007 --> 00:11:08,759 All yours. 200 00:11:09,647 --> 00:11:11,638 Now, what do you say? 201 00:11:12,527 --> 00:11:15,166 (Both sniff) Thank you. 202 00:11:15,367 --> 00:11:22,079 one by one. We shall stock another three tonight. 203 00:11:22,127 --> 00:11:24,925 This is where the poets will be. 204 00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:28,403 The philosophers over there, I think, hmm? 205 00:11:28,927 --> 00:11:32,283 Takes much thought to build a library. 206 00:11:32,327 --> 00:11:35,683 - How many so far? - Seven shelves, Father. 207 00:11:35,727 --> 00:11:38,082 Then, three more, child! Three more! 208 00:11:38,127 --> 00:11:39,321 Yes, Father. 209 00:11:40,687 --> 00:11:42,484 That's it! 210 00:11:42,807 --> 00:11:47,358 Now we have space for the Sonian Poets. Have you the books ready? 211 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,204 I've collected them here. 212 00:11:58,247 --> 00:12:00,044 Who are you? 213 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,284 I'm your daughter. 214 00:12:08,007 --> 00:12:09,804 I have a son. 215 00:12:11,007 --> 00:12:12,804 I know that. 216 00:12:13,807 --> 00:12:15,604 He is... 217 00:12:15,927 --> 00:12:17,724 ..Titus. 218 00:12:18,847 --> 00:12:23,637 He will be Earl of Gormenghast when I am dead. 219 00:12:24,967 --> 00:12:26,559 He is my brother. 220 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:33,481 And so you are my daughter, are you? 221 00:12:38,327 --> 00:12:40,283 What's your name? 222 00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:42,164 Fuchsia. 223 00:12:44,527 --> 00:12:46,324 Fuchsia? 224 00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:51,521 I don't think I know a Fuchsia. 225 00:12:53,367 --> 00:12:55,164 Do I? 226 00:12:55,527 --> 00:12:58,485 Do I know you, Fuchsia? 227 00:12:58,847 --> 00:13:02,396 I suppose we don't know each other that well, 228 00:13:02,447 --> 00:13:06,122 but I should very much like to know you better. 229 00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:09,764 (Laughs ) Would you? 230 00:13:15,207 --> 00:13:17,004 Yes, I see. 231 00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:20,881 (Sniffs ) The books, then, Fuchsia. 232 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,926 Here are the poets you asked for. 233 00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:37,006 Shall I put them on the first long shelf for you? 234 00:13:37,047 --> 00:13:41,643 (Laughs ) The poets. Ah, yes, the poets. 235 00:13:41,847 --> 00:13:45,078 We should never have had the poets. 236 00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:50,318 They tell us, you see. 237 00:13:50,567 --> 00:13:54,003 Their pen is the pulse...Fuchsia. 238 00:13:56,647 --> 00:13:58,877 Their voice is the bell. 239 00:14:00,087 --> 00:14:01,884 Their words... 240 00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:04,604 ..travel down... 241 00:14:06,287 --> 00:14:08,084 ..and down... 242 00:14:11,047 --> 00:14:12,844 ..and... 243 00:14:13,447 --> 00:14:15,483 ..on... 244 00:14:15,527 --> 00:14:17,518 ..and on... 245 00:14:18,087 --> 00:14:20,237 ..into nothing... 246 00:14:20,287 --> 00:14:22,084 ..and on... 247 00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:24,564 ..and on... 248 00:14:24,607 --> 00:14:27,075 ..into such nothing... 249 00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,924 ..and nothing... 250 00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:31,646 - ..and nothing... - Father, the books? 251 00:14:32,807 --> 00:14:34,604 Gormen... 252 00:14:34,887 --> 00:14:36,684 (Screams ) 253 00:14:41,207 --> 00:14:47,885 oh, no, no, no! Father, please! I can't bear it! 254 00:14:48,647 --> 00:14:50,444 (Sobs ) Please! 255 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,604 (Sobs ) 256 00:15:02,287 --> 00:15:05,040 I think you've made a mistake. 257 00:15:12,407 --> 00:15:14,682 You are not my daughter. 258 00:15:15,727 --> 00:15:17,126 How could you be? 259 00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:20,882 Come here and I'll tell you. 260 00:15:21,847 --> 00:15:23,644 Come, come. 261 00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:29,556 I am not your father. 262 00:15:32,047 --> 00:15:35,722 You see, I live...up there. 263 00:15:42,047 --> 00:15:43,844 You see... 264 00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:46,959 I am the death owl. 265 00:16:03,207 --> 00:16:05,004 (Snoring) 266 00:16:24,007 --> 00:16:25,804 (Scraping) 267 00:16:26,287 --> 00:16:28,084 (Hissing) 268 00:16:41,327 --> 00:16:44,205 My little precious. 269 00:16:45,927 --> 00:16:47,724 Ha! Ha! 270 00:16:58,247 --> 00:17:00,044 Good night, Mr Flea. 271 00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,281 (Yells) 272 00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:12,276 Won't be long before I go, little one. 273 00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:14,558 It's nearly my time. 274 00:17:15,287 --> 00:17:20,725 Feel your little sister. She's moving, feel her. 275 00:17:22,247 --> 00:17:25,523 You'll learn from her things you'll never learn here. 276 00:17:25,567 --> 00:17:27,398 I promise you. 277 00:17:30,127 --> 00:17:31,924 I hate it here. 278 00:17:32,287 --> 00:17:35,085 They won't have me down outside, will they? 279 00:17:36,047 --> 00:17:37,844 I hate them too. 280 00:17:38,487 --> 00:17:42,639 She's better than all of them. And she's better than you too, 281 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,678 though you would never admit it. 282 00:17:46,087 --> 00:17:48,362 Sleep well, little boy. 283 00:17:49,007 --> 00:17:50,804 Dream of her. 284 00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:55,918 (Bell rings ) 285 00:17:56,007 --> 00:18:00,444 (Panting) What's the time? What? That's His Lordship's kitchen bell. 286 00:18:00,487 --> 00:18:04,002 It's not sunrise. It's not time for the breakfast. 287 00:18:04,047 --> 00:18:07,642 What's he want to go and ring his bell for in the middle of the night? 288 00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:13,806 What? Breakfast? 289 00:18:13,847 --> 00:18:17,396 We ain't even done the quails' eggs yet, what's he playin' at? 290 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,837 oi! Slugs! 291 00:18:22,887 --> 00:18:24,684 Get up! 292 00:18:24,727 --> 00:18:26,558 Move! 293 00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:28,404 (Bottle smashes ) 294 00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,764 Father! 295 00:18:35,887 --> 00:18:37,684 (Bell stops ringing) 296 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:45,765 Lordship? 297 00:18:47,487 --> 00:18:49,284 (Flay knocks again ) 298 00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:51,564 Lordship? 299 00:18:52,447 --> 00:18:54,244 (Knocks again ) 300 00:18:54,287 --> 00:18:56,243 (Knocks more insistently) 301 00:18:56,287 --> 00:18:58,084 Lordship! 302 00:18:59,327 --> 00:19:01,124 (Flay bangs on door) 303 00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:02,964 LoRDSHIP! 304 00:19:03,007 --> 00:19:05,396 (Bangs ) LoRDSHIP! 305 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,524 (Key turning in lock) 306 00:19:12,687 --> 00:19:14,484 Lordship? 307 00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:16,324 (Hoots ) 308 00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:20,285 - Lordship. - Father? 309 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:23,125 (Groan hoots again ) Father? 310 00:19:24,287 --> 00:19:29,964 Father, stop doing that. Please listen. I love you. 311 00:19:30,007 --> 00:19:35,001 No! out, fart! This not for you! Back to vile kitchen. 312 00:19:35,487 --> 00:19:37,284 (Groan ) Chef, chef! 313 00:19:37,327 --> 00:19:38,999 Have you set your traps? 314 00:19:43,447 --> 00:19:46,598 - Traps, Sir? - Traps. Are you deaf? 315 00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:50,043 Are they full or have the cats got them? 316 00:19:50,087 --> 00:19:53,318 oh, y-y-yeah, mice traps! 317 00:19:53,367 --> 00:19:56,837 No, no, the...um, cats are out for the night. 318 00:19:56,887 --> 00:20:01,165 What are you waiting for? Bring me a mouse. 319 00:20:02,207 --> 00:20:08,885 Twigs - every kind. I intend to study the twig as one should. 320 00:20:08,927 --> 00:20:11,646 Study and build. 321 00:20:12,727 --> 00:20:15,161 A nest, you idiot. 322 00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:18,564 (Chef imitates Groans hooting) 323 00:20:18,647 --> 00:20:21,798 (Chef yelps as Groan continues to hoot) 324 00:20:21,847 --> 00:20:23,644 Doctor, can you do something? 325 00:20:23,687 --> 00:20:25,678 Yes, take this, Mr Swelter. 326 00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:28,524 Lordship! 327 00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:29,761 (Hoots ) 328 00:20:30,007 --> 00:20:31,998 May I be of assistance? 329 00:20:32,207 --> 00:20:34,243 May I help, Doctor? (Sniggers ) 330 00:20:34,287 --> 00:20:35,925 I heard the bell. 331 00:20:35,967 --> 00:20:39,243 - Who are you? - Steerpike, Lordship, my assistant. 332 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:42,200 Talk to him, boy. Get his attention! 333 00:20:42,247 --> 00:20:47,401 I assist the doctor in his dispensary, sir. 334 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:51,440 (Speaks slowly) You may remember me from the library. 335 00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:53,724 The library! 336 00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:56,805 My library. 337 00:20:57,727 --> 00:20:59,479 (Yells) 338 00:20:59,527 --> 00:21:02,325 Help me, Steerpike, on to the bed. 339 00:21:02,367 --> 00:21:05,439 Now handle him carefully, do not ruffle his feathers. 340 00:21:05,527 --> 00:21:07,324 (Moans ) 341 00:21:08,407 --> 00:21:11,080 - A wing, give me the wing. - What? 342 00:21:11,127 --> 00:21:12,924 His arm, boy! 343 00:21:20,327 --> 00:21:23,444 That was quick work, Doctor. What chemical was that? 344 00:21:23,487 --> 00:21:26,763 I'm in no mood for the pharmaceutical, Master Steerpike. 345 00:21:26,807 --> 00:21:29,685 Mr Flay, get him dressed for the breakfast. 346 00:21:29,727 --> 00:21:31,524 Breakfast, sir? 347 00:21:31,567 --> 00:21:34,286 Yes, and why not? Lordship is as Lordship does. 348 00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,443 Will he be able to go? 349 00:21:36,487 --> 00:21:39,160 We'll do our best, my little friend. 350 00:21:39,967 --> 00:21:43,403 My dear Chef, why do you look so blue? 351 00:21:43,447 --> 00:21:46,962 I will prepare the breakfast, as you say, Doctor. 352 00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:48,804 Good. 353 00:21:48,847 --> 00:21:51,361 - Soon, Mr Flay. - out. 354 00:21:52,447 --> 00:21:54,244 oh, Doctor... 355 00:21:54,287 --> 00:21:57,518 Why is everything going so wrong? 356 00:22:01,407 --> 00:22:03,204 Nothing! 357 00:22:06,247 --> 00:22:08,044 Nothing! 358 00:22:08,087 --> 00:22:10,726 Have you never seen a fork before? 359 00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:13,044 It goes here, here! 360 00:22:14,087 --> 00:22:18,444 How can I be expected to lay the table for a feast 361 00:22:18,487 --> 00:22:21,843 that isn't even in the damned book! Huh? 362 00:22:21,887 --> 00:22:27,041 And will the ass come? Having put us to all this, will he come? 363 00:22:27,087 --> 00:22:29,157 Thinks he's a bird! Woo! Woo! 364 00:22:29,207 --> 00:22:31,562 You can button your lip, arsewipe! 365 00:22:31,607 --> 00:22:35,122 Anything I say here is not for repetition by you! 366 00:22:35,167 --> 00:22:38,045 Do you understand? Damned breakfast! 367 00:22:38,127 --> 00:22:41,324 My husband is now an owl, Master Chalk. 368 00:22:42,647 --> 00:22:45,036 I'd say it was an improvement. 369 00:22:45,087 --> 00:22:46,964 - Ladyship? - Yes? 370 00:22:47,007 --> 00:22:50,761 He's in his lavender velvet, Ladyship. 371 00:22:50,807 --> 00:22:52,684 So what? 372 00:22:52,727 --> 00:22:55,719 Ah, well, I've never done a breakfast, Ladyship. 373 00:22:55,767 --> 00:23:00,682 Secretary Barquentine said lavender for His Smallness. 374 00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:05,164 - So why are you asking me? Go away. - Yes, Ladyship. 375 00:23:05,207 --> 00:23:08,119 Wait! I know this is difficult for you, 376 00:23:08,167 --> 00:23:11,477 but I want you to answer a simple question. 377 00:23:11,527 --> 00:23:13,916 - Ladyship? - Stop saying Ladyship. 378 00:23:15,407 --> 00:23:18,797 Who is this, Spearkite? Where did you meet him? 379 00:23:19,807 --> 00:23:22,241 Long ago, Ladyship. 380 00:23:22,287 --> 00:23:24,005 Where, not when. 381 00:23:24,047 --> 00:23:26,003 With the... 382 00:23:26,047 --> 00:23:29,926 ..with Lady Fuchsia, L...madam. 383 00:23:29,967 --> 00:23:32,356 And where does he come from? 384 00:23:32,407 --> 00:23:37,322 Where could he come from, Ladysh... madam? He must come from somewhere. 385 00:23:38,007 --> 00:23:40,646 The same brilliant Slagg. 386 00:23:47,087 --> 00:23:49,442 And stop crying. 387 00:23:50,967 --> 00:23:55,165 Birds don't cry, cats don't cry, so why should nannies? 388 00:23:56,087 --> 00:23:57,884 Go away. 389 00:24:01,087 --> 00:24:02,645 (Bird caws ) 390 00:24:02,687 --> 00:24:06,202 Spearkite. What do you think, Master Chalk? 391 00:24:06,287 --> 00:24:08,118 (Miaowing) 392 00:24:13,687 --> 00:24:15,484 (Hisses ) 393 00:24:20,967 --> 00:24:22,764 Motley for the madman? 394 00:24:22,807 --> 00:24:24,445 Put bells on it. 395 00:24:24,487 --> 00:24:27,797 - What do you want? - You, actually. 396 00:24:27,847 --> 00:24:30,077 The doctor says hurry up. 397 00:24:30,127 --> 00:24:33,039 Me? Doctor? What for? 398 00:24:33,087 --> 00:24:37,717 You, Flay. Lordship, no trousers. 399 00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:40,405 (Hoots ) 400 00:24:42,807 --> 00:24:48,245 Flay. Can't make whole sentence. 401 00:24:48,287 --> 00:24:50,847 Never mind. Flay. 402 00:24:53,767 --> 00:24:56,679 Good servant. If a bit simple. 403 00:24:56,967 --> 00:24:58,525 You dare, boy. 404 00:24:58,567 --> 00:25:04,597 Lick my neck. Me dirty. Too much underling in the air! 405 00:25:06,527 --> 00:25:08,324 (Yells) 406 00:25:09,567 --> 00:25:11,364 (Gertrude ) out. 407 00:25:14,687 --> 00:25:16,723 (Miaowing and hissing) 408 00:25:21,087 --> 00:25:23,806 You throw my cat. 409 00:25:25,087 --> 00:25:26,884 You touch my cat! 410 00:25:28,687 --> 00:25:32,521 You are no more. 411 00:25:36,327 --> 00:25:40,240 You are ENDED. 412 00:25:41,247 --> 00:25:45,638 This castle ejects YoU! 413 00:25:45,687 --> 00:25:46,881 (Purrs ) 414 00:25:49,687 --> 00:25:51,484 You stay one week. 415 00:25:52,007 --> 00:25:55,841 one week and another servant shall be found for the Earl. 416 00:25:56,287 --> 00:26:00,121 one week and one week only and then you go! 417 00:26:13,127 --> 00:26:19,680 Now we have seen true madness, haven't we my little ones? 418 00:26:20,727 --> 00:26:22,604 True, true madness. 419 00:26:32,687 --> 00:26:34,484 (Tinkle ) 420 00:26:36,047 --> 00:26:39,005 Doctor! Where the hell is he? 421 00:26:39,207 --> 00:26:41,038 (Groan ) I am here, Sir. 422 00:26:48,047 --> 00:26:49,844 (Baby gurgles ) 423 00:27:05,127 --> 00:27:08,005 (Groan ) Mr Secretary, you may begin. 424 00:27:08,367 --> 00:27:09,925 (Barquentine ) Chef! 425 00:27:09,967 --> 00:27:11,764 Now! 426 00:27:15,607 --> 00:27:17,438 (Barquentine clears his throat) 427 00:27:17,487 --> 00:27:24,325 The first breakfast, as unwarranted by tradition, creates a precedence. 428 00:27:24,967 --> 00:27:29,722 (Coughs ) A precedence once accepted becomes tradition. 429 00:27:29,767 --> 00:27:31,723 (Thinks ) I can't bear it. 430 00:27:31,767 --> 00:27:33,644 I love him so much! 431 00:27:33,687 --> 00:27:37,566 I must be brave. There's no one else to mind him. 432 00:27:37,607 --> 00:27:42,761 ..or as in this case caused by the unhealthy love of father for son. 433 00:27:42,807 --> 00:27:46,117 (Thinks ) Get on with it, you idiot. Cat thrower. 434 00:27:46,167 --> 00:27:48,556 (Barquentine ) ..remarkable phenomenon. What is it? 435 00:27:48,607 --> 00:27:50,245 Can it be defined? 436 00:27:50,287 --> 00:27:52,278 (Thinks ) Mother won't look after him. 437 00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:54,444 (Thinks ) Banished. 438 00:27:54,487 --> 00:27:59,607 of course not! Therefore, clearly our precedent 439 00:27:59,647 --> 00:28:04,084 cannot be founded on love. And neither can it on the accidental 440 00:28:04,127 --> 00:28:07,358 or the irrational. We, therefore, of necessity... 441 00:28:07,407 --> 00:28:09,204 (Whispers ) Darkness. 442 00:28:09,247 --> 00:28:14,367 (Barquentine ) ..must seek our precedent as one founded in reason. 443 00:28:14,407 --> 00:28:16,967 (Thinks ) I can't keep giving him pills. 444 00:28:17,007 --> 00:28:21,239 That damned owl will hoot again sooner or later. 445 00:28:21,287 --> 00:28:25,724 (Thinks ) I must get a man! A man. What else is there? 446 00:28:25,767 --> 00:28:28,281 ..Reason is the all and everything. 447 00:28:28,327 --> 00:28:31,080 (Thinks ) Soon Mister Flea! 448 00:28:31,327 --> 00:28:33,318 ..reason is developed thus. 449 00:28:33,367 --> 00:28:40,045 Point one, the child Titus before us is young lord. 450 00:28:40,087 --> 00:28:45,480 Point two, young lord is heir to it all and everything. 451 00:28:46,607 --> 00:28:48,404 (Think) We want our thrones. 452 00:28:48,447 --> 00:28:51,200 Point three, all and everything obviously includes breakfast. 453 00:28:51,247 --> 00:28:53,078 (Think) We want our thrones. 454 00:28:53,207 --> 00:28:56,677 Point four, breakfast is food and finally, point five - 455 00:28:56,967 --> 00:29:00,243 food is produced by the peasants! So, simply put.. 456 00:29:02,007 --> 00:29:04,157 (Thinks ) I want my daddy! 457 00:29:04,207 --> 00:29:07,517 ..is set and laid in the stones as follows.. 458 00:29:07,567 --> 00:29:09,717 (Groan ) Darkness. 459 00:29:09,967 --> 00:29:15,200 (Barquentine ) on this day, at this time, each year, as the years roll.. 460 00:29:16,327 --> 00:29:18,124 Darkness! 461 00:29:18,167 --> 00:29:20,044 (Thinks ) Daddy! 462 00:29:20,087 --> 00:29:23,045 ..in honour of the heir's right to sustenance... 463 00:29:23,087 --> 00:29:29,037 - Darkness!! My books are light. - (Shouts ) the peasants will produce 464 00:29:29,087 --> 00:29:31,043 His Lordship's breakfast! 465 00:29:31,087 --> 00:29:33,317 I want my books! 466 00:29:33,367 --> 00:29:37,280 Daddy! I want my Daddy! 467 00:29:37,327 --> 00:29:39,124 Black owl! 468 00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:41,398 oh, me weak heart. 469 00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:43,836 - Hoot! Hoot! - (Fuchsia ) Daddy! 470 00:29:44,527 --> 00:29:46,518 - Lordship! - Daddy! 471 00:29:47,487 --> 00:29:49,284 Get him down! 472 00:29:49,327 --> 00:29:54,037 I have a son. Where is my son? Hoot! 473 00:29:54,407 --> 00:29:56,602 - Daddy! - Master Chalk! 474 00:29:56,767 --> 00:29:57,961 (Laughs ) 475 00:29:58,487 --> 00:30:00,239 (Flay ) Lordship! Lordship! 476 00:30:00,287 --> 00:30:02,084 Mr Flay! Mr Flay. 477 00:30:02,447 --> 00:30:04,244 Who has done this? 478 00:30:04,287 --> 00:30:06,084 Hoo! Hoo. 479 00:30:06,847 --> 00:30:08,758 Hoo. 480 00:30:09,447 --> 00:30:12,245 Hoo. Hoo? 481 00:30:13,327 --> 00:30:14,521 Hoo. 482 00:30:16,127 --> 00:30:17,924 Hoo. 483 00:30:18,407 --> 00:30:20,204 (Gurgles ) 484 00:30:20,807 --> 00:30:22,604 (Laughs quietly) 485 00:30:23,807 --> 00:30:25,604 (Hooting) 486 00:30:27,647 --> 00:30:29,444 (Screams ) 487 00:30:29,487 --> 00:30:32,684 No, no, my lord. Your perch is elsewhere. 488 00:30:32,727 --> 00:30:34,524 Come, come, fly. 489 00:30:35,207 --> 00:30:38,643 Fly home, left wing. 490 00:30:41,407 --> 00:30:43,841 Anything I can do, Doctor? 491 00:30:47,967 --> 00:30:52,643 No? Sure? Anything at all?. 492 00:30:52,687 --> 00:30:54,484 (Laughs spitefully) 493 00:30:58,127 --> 00:30:59,958 Is there any hope for him? 494 00:31:00,007 --> 00:31:02,362 Hope? For His Lordship? Hope? 495 00:31:02,407 --> 00:31:05,922 oh, that is a concept of the highest order, Ladyship. 496 00:31:05,967 --> 00:31:07,764 A hopeful concept, hope. 497 00:31:07,807 --> 00:31:10,560 Squallor, do we have any? 498 00:31:12,247 --> 00:31:14,841 My sister hopes for a male, Ladyship. 499 00:31:14,887 --> 00:31:17,037 - I beg... - My sister... 500 00:31:17,087 --> 00:31:20,875 I heard you the first time. Your sister, a man? 501 00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:25,484 Spends her days in the bath. Hope springs eternal, or something, er... 502 00:31:25,527 --> 00:31:30,726 Squallor, get out. I want reports on His Lordship every hour on the hour. 503 00:31:30,767 --> 00:31:32,359 - Clear? - Yes. 504 00:31:32,407 --> 00:31:37,197 - As the great chime of the great... - out! 505 00:31:37,247 --> 00:31:39,522 (Cooing, chirping, miaowing) 506 00:31:46,047 --> 00:31:50,837 Something stinks, my dears. And it's not Squallor. 507 00:31:50,887 --> 00:31:52,684 (Big thuderclap ) 508 00:31:58,527 --> 00:32:02,076 Poor little Lordship! oh, your poor old Nannie. 509 00:32:02,127 --> 00:32:07,963 We mustn't let that little wet head get cold. Ahh. Where's that girl... 510 00:32:08,007 --> 00:32:10,840 Where have you been, you naughty girl?. 511 00:32:10,887 --> 00:32:15,358 You know very well it's the day for His Lordship's all over. 512 00:32:15,407 --> 00:32:16,965 What are you doing? 513 00:32:17,007 --> 00:32:20,044 It's time, Nannie. I've been waiting for you. 514 00:32:20,087 --> 00:32:24,842 You can't go. I'll tell. Don't I have enough on my plate? 515 00:32:24,887 --> 00:32:26,525 Come here, little one. 516 00:32:26,567 --> 00:32:30,958 You can't go back to them out there because they hate you. 517 00:32:31,007 --> 00:32:35,080 - You're having a bastard. - Maybe I won't go there. 518 00:32:35,127 --> 00:32:37,516 I don't know where to go. 519 00:32:38,967 --> 00:32:43,279 I wish I could take you with me. I love you, little one. 520 00:32:43,847 --> 00:32:46,361 You'll remember your tiny sister, won't you? 521 00:32:46,407 --> 00:32:50,320 It's not his sister. Don't say that. Sister, indeed. 522 00:32:50,367 --> 00:32:54,360 Don't matter what you say, Nannie, or me. He'll know. 523 00:32:54,407 --> 00:32:56,204 (Rumble of thunder) 524 00:32:56,247 --> 00:32:59,603 Don't go. What'll I do? 525 00:32:59,647 --> 00:33:01,444 Bye, Nannie. 526 00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:04,399 Bye, my little boy. 527 00:33:05,927 --> 00:33:09,966 - (Whispers ) Bye. - Don't go. 528 00:33:10,007 --> 00:33:11,326 (Big thunderclap ) 529 00:33:11,367 --> 00:33:13,642 You can't... 530 00:33:14,647 --> 00:33:18,356 oh, oh, my weak heart. oh. 531 00:33:35,167 --> 00:33:36,964 Hoot. 532 00:34:00,807 --> 00:34:04,880 Tonight,...my precious. 533 00:34:08,887 --> 00:34:13,403 Tonight,...Mister Flea. 534 00:34:44,327 --> 00:34:46,124 (Sniggers slyly) 535 00:34:47,687 --> 00:34:49,484 (Caws ) 536 00:34:52,967 --> 00:34:55,037 (Caws more insistently) 537 00:34:55,087 --> 00:34:57,123 What is it, Master Chalk? 538 00:34:57,327 --> 00:34:59,124 (Thunder) 539 00:35:15,727 --> 00:35:20,517 For you, my little red and wet pretty one. 540 00:35:24,887 --> 00:35:28,197 Then, I shall wipe you dry with silk. 541 00:35:42,487 --> 00:35:44,637 Mister Flay? Aargh! 542 00:35:46,247 --> 00:35:48,044 Huh? 543 00:35:54,327 --> 00:35:56,283 Kitchen scum. 544 00:35:56,327 --> 00:35:58,443 (Growls) 545 00:36:01,407 --> 00:36:03,238 Hoot. 546 00:36:09,687 --> 00:36:12,759 - Come here! - Lordship, Lordship. 547 00:36:25,687 --> 00:36:27,484 Aaargh! 548 00:36:34,207 --> 00:36:36,596 (owl hoots ) 549 00:36:36,647 --> 00:36:38,444 Ha! 550 00:36:40,767 --> 00:36:42,564 (owl hoots again ) 551 00:36:42,607 --> 00:36:45,167 They will take me in. 552 00:36:46,127 --> 00:36:49,244 - Hoot. Hoot. - Lordship? 553 00:36:49,287 --> 00:36:51,881 (Hoots with owl) 554 00:36:54,847 --> 00:36:56,644 (Growls) 555 00:37:02,007 --> 00:37:03,725 Aaargh! 556 00:37:03,767 --> 00:37:05,359 (Yells) 557 00:37:09,527 --> 00:37:11,836 Good night, Mr Flea. 558 00:37:13,647 --> 00:37:15,638 Kitchen slug, at your service. 559 00:37:18,007 --> 00:37:19,963 Delicious. 560 00:37:20,007 --> 00:37:22,282 (Groans ) Scum. Always! 561 00:37:22,327 --> 00:37:26,161 Good night, manservant Flea. 562 00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:34,005 Wait, wait, my precious, you shall be clean and silvery before you eat. 563 00:37:36,927 --> 00:37:38,724 (Kisses knife ) 564 00:37:45,647 --> 00:37:49,435 And now for dinner. 565 00:37:51,647 --> 00:37:53,444 (Yells) 566 00:38:01,887 --> 00:38:03,684 (Screams ) 567 00:38:13,247 --> 00:38:15,044 (Growls and snorts ) 568 00:38:19,927 --> 00:38:21,724 (Cackles ) 569 00:38:22,847 --> 00:38:25,600 Now, my pretty one. 570 00:38:25,647 --> 00:38:28,002 We have him! 571 00:38:28,607 --> 00:38:30,199 Aaaargh! 572 00:38:33,727 --> 00:38:35,524 Aaaargh! 573 00:38:42,767 --> 00:38:44,564 (Crunch) 574 00:38:44,607 --> 00:38:46,404 (Yells) 575 00:38:53,527 --> 00:38:55,324 (Snorts ) 576 00:39:01,567 --> 00:39:03,364 Death! 577 00:39:03,407 --> 00:39:05,204 Servant! 578 00:39:06,767 --> 00:39:08,564 Now! 579 00:39:08,607 --> 00:39:10,165 (Groan hoots ) 580 00:39:10,207 --> 00:39:12,675 (Creaking, Swelter yells) 581 00:39:14,207 --> 00:39:16,004 (Sighs ) 582 00:39:21,487 --> 00:39:24,001 There is much to be done, Flay. 583 00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,358 They will enjoy him. 584 00:39:31,687 --> 00:39:33,200 Lordship? 585 00:39:33,887 --> 00:39:35,878 (Chirping and cooing) 586 00:39:37,407 --> 00:39:39,204 Heave, Mr Flay. Heave! 587 00:39:39,247 --> 00:39:41,283 (Panting and gasping) 588 00:39:45,487 --> 00:39:51,005 This is my hour, you see. Heave, Mr Flay. 589 00:39:51,567 --> 00:39:53,683 Heave. 590 00:39:54,807 --> 00:39:56,763 (Both puff and pant) 591 00:40:00,287 --> 00:40:02,039 This is my time. 592 00:40:03,127 --> 00:40:04,924 Lord? 593 00:40:05,007 --> 00:40:06,838 Go now. 594 00:40:11,847 --> 00:40:15,476 Goodbye, my dear Mister Flay. 595 00:40:15,687 --> 00:40:17,723 oh, no, Lordship, no! No! 596 00:40:17,767 --> 00:40:19,598 (Screeching) 597 00:40:40,927 --> 00:40:43,236 Gormen...ghast. 598 00:40:44,407 --> 00:40:46,602 (Hooting) 599 00:41:17,447 --> 00:41:19,244 (Keys jangle ) 600 00:41:33,847 --> 00:41:35,644 Goodbye, Mr Flay. 601 00:41:40,207 --> 00:41:42,004 (Bells) 602 00:41:42,327 --> 00:41:44,204 - Anything? - No, Sir. 603 00:41:44,247 --> 00:41:46,044 Let's be having you. 604 00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:48,760 Right, you! Third stairs, take the dog. 605 00:41:50,687 --> 00:41:52,678 Is the East Wing completed? 606 00:41:52,727 --> 00:41:55,924 That wing has 638 rooms on the first floor, 607 00:41:55,967 --> 00:41:58,925 503 on the second, and 700 on the third. 608 00:41:58,967 --> 00:42:00,719 Captain Rottcodd... 609 00:42:00,767 --> 00:42:04,555 Not counting auxiliary buildings, extensions, follies, 610 00:42:04,607 --> 00:42:07,440 ante-rooms, closets, attics, basements, 611 00:42:07,487 --> 00:42:11,116 unfloored passages, unknown regions, darkness and rot! 612 00:42:11,167 --> 00:42:13,158 And have you found him? 613 00:42:13,207 --> 00:42:15,277 Not a Lord Groan in any of them, Master Sneerbite. 614 00:42:17,127 --> 00:42:21,518 Steerpike. And don't get on the wrong side of me, Rotgut, 615 00:42:21,567 --> 00:42:25,560 or I'll see you scrub stone on the jailhouse floor. 616 00:42:25,607 --> 00:42:28,280 Look again. His Lordship will be found. 617 00:42:28,327 --> 00:42:30,363 (Barquentine ) Captain Rottcodd! 618 00:42:30,407 --> 00:42:34,639 Call off the dogs. Come with me, Snakeshite! 619 00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:37,718 (Chuckles ) 620 00:42:39,247 --> 00:42:41,124 You'll regret that. 621 00:42:42,247 --> 00:42:44,044 (Snorts ) 622 00:42:44,447 --> 00:42:47,041 - Not found him? - Nine days. 623 00:42:47,087 --> 00:42:51,046 - Not found him! - Searched nine days! 624 00:42:51,887 --> 00:42:57,439 75 Earls in the history of time and not one has ever gone missing. 625 00:42:57,487 --> 00:43:02,845 They die, abdicate, go mad, take up arms, kill each other, 626 00:43:03,407 --> 00:43:05,875 eat their children, mutilate themselves, 627 00:43:05,927 --> 00:43:08,487 split, shrink, decompose, 628 00:43:08,527 --> 00:43:11,325 but never, never disappear! 629 00:43:13,367 --> 00:43:18,282 An Earl is the mast! He is the path, the marrow in the bone. 630 00:43:18,567 --> 00:43:20,523 Without him, we are hollow. 631 00:43:20,567 --> 00:43:25,197 I understand the traditions and history of the castle. And the chef? 632 00:43:25,247 --> 00:43:30,844 A chef cooks. What's there to cook if the master is not there to eat? 633 00:43:30,887 --> 00:43:35,278 - He is nothing. The Lordship is... - Secretary Barquentine... 634 00:43:35,327 --> 00:43:42,085 No! Your Ladyship, with the greatest, greatest respect, 635 00:43:42,647 --> 00:43:47,437 I'm secretary to us, responsible to it all! 636 00:43:47,927 --> 00:43:54,036 Nine days! Nine days, no ceremony, no obeisance, no authority! 637 00:43:54,247 --> 00:44:01,119 No daily rite and passage. No heart pumping the blood of rule. 638 00:44:02,407 --> 00:44:05,046 We are disrupted. 639 00:44:06,927 --> 00:44:09,157 His Lordship is gone. 640 00:44:09,207 --> 00:44:10,686 Long live His Lordship. 641 00:44:10,727 --> 00:44:12,524 What did you say? 642 00:44:12,567 --> 00:44:14,159 - Titus? - Exactly. 643 00:44:14,207 --> 00:44:18,200 - Titus is barely a year. - Long may he live. 644 00:44:18,247 --> 00:44:21,796 - We shall prepare the earling... - Barquentine! 645 00:44:21,847 --> 00:44:26,716 Next Thursday. The longest day. It is propitious. 646 00:44:27,287 --> 00:44:29,084 You may go. 647 00:44:29,127 --> 00:44:33,200 An earling, Your Ladyship. There is much to be done. 648 00:44:33,727 --> 00:44:36,002 Lord Groan? 649 00:44:38,767 --> 00:44:41,565 He's gone. History. 650 00:44:43,167 --> 00:44:45,840 There is no alternative to what I say. 651 00:44:48,207 --> 00:44:51,643 Then you must do it, Mr Secretary. Now go. 652 00:44:51,687 --> 00:44:53,484 (Grunts ) 653 00:45:03,247 --> 00:45:05,044 (Cawing) 654 00:45:12,167 --> 00:45:14,158 open them up, you bastard! 655 00:45:17,087 --> 00:45:19,521 - What's this? - The law, sir. 656 00:45:19,567 --> 00:45:22,718 - What's law? - What always has been, sir. 657 00:45:22,767 --> 00:45:26,965 What always has been, good, good, good. What else? 658 00:45:27,007 --> 00:45:31,478 - It is destiny, sir. - Law is destiny and... 659 00:45:33,087 --> 00:45:34,884 ..obedience... 660 00:45:36,847 --> 00:45:42,160 ..is tradition! Don't forget that. That is the all and everything. 661 00:45:43,207 --> 00:45:45,004 Do you understand? 662 00:45:45,087 --> 00:45:47,317 - Yes, sir. - Good! 663 00:45:48,047 --> 00:45:52,837 You're an obsequious ass! But there is work to be done. Too much work. 664 00:45:54,287 --> 00:45:56,005 Who is your master? 665 00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:59,363 I try to be useful here and there. 666 00:45:59,407 --> 00:46:02,717 oh, don't try and rook me, Sneersight! 667 00:46:02,767 --> 00:46:07,079 I see through you, bones and brain! Your master is the doctor! 668 00:46:07,127 --> 00:46:08,640 Doubtless he'll be pleased. 669 00:46:08,687 --> 00:46:12,680 No more here and there. Here by me. Do you understand? 670 00:46:12,727 --> 00:46:15,719 I'm now your master. 671 00:46:15,767 --> 00:46:20,158 You may be useful. We have an earling. 672 00:46:20,887 --> 00:46:24,163 Rafts to be built. It's all here. 673 00:46:26,247 --> 00:46:31,196 Come on, come on! Read it. Study. 674 00:46:34,087 --> 00:46:37,204 How much will I be paid, sir? 675 00:46:37,247 --> 00:46:39,238 What?! Rat! 676 00:46:40,247 --> 00:46:45,685 Your keep and the honour of studying time itself! 677 00:46:45,727 --> 00:46:49,163 The runes of Gormenghast! 678 00:46:49,647 --> 00:46:51,444 (Chokes ) 679 00:46:53,127 --> 00:46:54,924 Are you ready? 680 00:46:55,127 --> 00:46:57,925 I have never been more so, Sir. 681 00:46:57,967 --> 00:47:00,845 Then start. The earling! 682 00:47:01,367 --> 00:47:03,164 Read! 683 00:47:07,007 --> 00:47:12,161 (Barquentine grunts ) 684 00:47:12,767 --> 00:47:14,564 Well, well. 685 00:47:15,007 --> 00:47:16,804 You did ask me. 686 00:47:18,727 --> 00:47:21,958 Earling...earling. 687 00:47:25,047 --> 00:47:26,844 An earling? 688 00:47:26,887 --> 00:47:29,606 - our brother's dead. - He's gone. 689 00:47:29,647 --> 00:47:32,525 So why give the power to a baby? 690 00:47:32,567 --> 00:47:34,364 (Both) It's ours! 691 00:47:38,167 --> 00:47:40,158 So why should we wait? 692 00:47:40,647 --> 00:47:43,957 - Mr Steerpike. - Mr Steerpike? 693 00:47:44,007 --> 00:47:46,567 We must see about him, mustn't we? 694 00:47:46,607 --> 00:47:48,404 He told us, didn't he? 695 00:47:48,447 --> 00:47:51,086 He told us to burn, didn't he? 696 00:47:51,127 --> 00:47:54,199 So we can tell them, can't we? 697 00:47:54,247 --> 00:47:56,636 of course we can. 698 00:48:00,527 --> 00:48:02,358 (Both) Mmm. 699 00:48:02,407 --> 00:48:05,797 oh, look at you, me lovely smallness. 700 00:48:05,847 --> 00:48:10,762 No father - not that I'd call him a father - to look after you. 701 00:48:10,807 --> 00:48:13,844 No fat chef to cook for you. 702 00:48:13,887 --> 00:48:18,642 No Mr Flay. Still, we can do without that string of black bone. 703 00:48:19,687 --> 00:48:21,518 (Fuchsia ) No, we can't! 704 00:48:21,567 --> 00:48:24,001 I was talking to your little brother. 705 00:48:24,967 --> 00:48:28,880 I don't care. We can't do without Mr Flay. 706 00:48:28,927 --> 00:48:31,395 We can't do without my father either. 707 00:48:31,887 --> 00:48:35,084 I don't care how wonderful Titus is, he's just a baby. 708 00:48:37,127 --> 00:48:40,722 The top - and by that, I mean the last inch - 709 00:48:40,767 --> 00:48:43,520 of the morning to you, my dears. 710 00:48:43,567 --> 00:48:46,604 Are we enjoying this delicious breeze? 711 00:48:47,527 --> 00:48:49,995 Dr Pru! I'm so glad you've come. 712 00:48:50,047 --> 00:48:52,083 I'm delighted to see you. 713 00:48:52,127 --> 00:48:55,324 And Mrs Slagg, at peace I hope - carnally speaking? 714 00:48:55,367 --> 00:48:59,485 - I ebb and I flow. - What ebbs and flows? 715 00:48:59,527 --> 00:49:02,917 Is it your heart or your nerves that is tidal?. 716 00:49:02,967 --> 00:49:04,764 Doctor, can we talk? 717 00:49:04,807 --> 00:49:09,517 And please don't use any long words, I have some terrible worries. 718 00:49:10,487 --> 00:49:13,923 My dear Ladyship, always a shoulder, or an ear, 719 00:49:13,967 --> 00:49:17,846 or indeed, any part of my anatomy at your disposal. 720 00:49:18,927 --> 00:49:21,646 oh, Alfred, Their Ladyships. 721 00:49:21,687 --> 00:49:24,440 To hell with them, breastless as wallpaper! 722 00:49:24,487 --> 00:49:27,684 My last postmortem had more life in it. Ladyships! 723 00:49:33,367 --> 00:49:35,323 We've seen someone. 724 00:49:35,367 --> 00:49:37,722 Are you referring to me, Ladyships? 725 00:49:37,767 --> 00:49:41,362 Don't be stupid. We're talking to you, aren't we? 726 00:49:41,807 --> 00:49:43,604 There. 727 00:49:44,047 --> 00:49:47,722 Ah, raft makers, preparing for the earling. only four days now. 728 00:49:47,767 --> 00:49:49,519 What was that splash? 729 00:49:49,567 --> 00:49:51,523 I'm not surprised, my butterfly. 730 00:49:51,567 --> 00:49:55,606 Alfred, why are you so tiresome? Why are you not surprised? 731 00:49:55,647 --> 00:50:00,402 Because that is exactly what it is, my peahen. An authentic splash. 732 00:50:00,567 --> 00:50:04,242 And made by our ex-dispenser, now assistant to Barquentine, 733 00:50:04,287 --> 00:50:07,438 if these eyes can recognise a certain naked appendage 734 00:50:07,487 --> 00:50:09,603 as one attached to a certain Steerpike! 735 00:50:12,367 --> 00:50:15,120 We are the only ladies present, aren't we? 736 00:50:15,367 --> 00:50:16,561 What about it? 737 00:50:16,607 --> 00:50:21,283 We'll go down to the water's edge and unbend to him. 738 00:50:21,527 --> 00:50:23,006 Will it hurt? 739 00:50:23,047 --> 00:50:25,436 oh, why are you so ignorant? 740 00:50:29,087 --> 00:50:31,647 (Steerpike ) I just saw you, Lady Fuchsia. 741 00:50:31,687 --> 00:50:33,996 How is your health, Miss Irma? 742 00:50:35,567 --> 00:50:38,400 Watch yourselves, ladies, you'll get wet. 743 00:50:40,927 --> 00:50:43,680 (Steerpike ) Ladies, you do me too much honour. 744 00:50:44,567 --> 00:50:46,398 Ladies! 745 00:50:53,367 --> 00:50:56,040 We are unbending to you, Mr Steerpike. 746 00:50:56,087 --> 00:50:59,079 Because there's much you told us to do. 747 00:50:59,127 --> 00:51:02,244 And so much we could say, Mr Steerpike. 748 00:51:02,287 --> 00:51:05,484 Be quiet, you idiots! Sit down at once! 749 00:51:07,527 --> 00:51:09,324 (Sighs ) 750 00:51:10,647 --> 00:51:12,444 (Peacocks call) 751 00:51:13,087 --> 00:51:16,284 (Steerpike whispers ) Now, go back to your apartments. 752 00:51:16,327 --> 00:51:20,320 Any more talk of fire and it'll be the hangman for you. 753 00:51:20,367 --> 00:51:23,837 Hangman! Do you understand? Now go! 754 00:51:40,487 --> 00:51:42,284 Beats me, Doctor. 755 00:51:42,327 --> 00:51:45,763 You beat me to the very pap, dear boy. 756 00:51:45,807 --> 00:51:50,562 Have a heart and swim away, we're tired of looking at your abdomen. 757 00:51:50,607 --> 00:51:52,757 Mmm, forgive its magnetism. 758 00:51:54,927 --> 00:51:57,282 Good day to you, Lady Fuchsia. 759 00:52:01,567 --> 00:52:03,159 (Splash) 760 00:52:03,207 --> 00:52:06,916 You will be careful of him, my dear Young ladyship. 761 00:52:06,967 --> 00:52:08,798 of course, Dr Pru. 762 00:52:12,167 --> 00:52:13,919 (Screaming) 763 00:52:14,567 --> 00:52:16,558 (Both yell) 764 00:52:17,327 --> 00:52:20,876 Your throats are white and long for strangling! 765 00:52:20,927 --> 00:52:24,203 Sisters of a brother sent mad by burning! 766 00:52:24,247 --> 00:52:26,636 You shall hang, you shall hang! 767 00:52:27,887 --> 00:52:29,878 (Both scream ) 768 00:52:30,407 --> 00:52:32,204 (Ghostly noises ) 769 00:52:40,887 --> 00:52:42,684 (Laughs ) 770 00:52:51,687 --> 00:52:53,484 ( Quacking) 771 00:52:54,087 --> 00:52:55,884 (Horns ) 772 00:53:04,327 --> 00:53:06,124 (Cannon ) 773 00:53:06,447 --> 00:53:08,278 (Cannon ) 774 00:53:10,687 --> 00:53:13,485 Are you skulks ready? 775 00:53:14,367 --> 00:53:17,006 Then, push off, idiots! 776 00:53:17,047 --> 00:53:18,844 Push off! 777 00:53:28,327 --> 00:53:32,240 So, the tiniest thing in the world is an earl, today. 778 00:53:33,007 --> 00:53:37,478 Some day, they're going to come and take him away from me. 779 00:53:37,527 --> 00:53:38,926 They didn't take me. 780 00:53:38,967 --> 00:53:41,322 They don't take silly girls. 781 00:53:41,367 --> 00:53:43,085 Well, they should. 782 00:53:50,687 --> 00:53:52,006 Arghh! 783 00:53:56,407 --> 00:54:00,958 Come on, come on! It'll be winter before we're done. 784 00:54:01,007 --> 00:54:02,838 Move! 785 00:54:04,367 --> 00:54:06,164 (Woman panting) 786 00:54:11,007 --> 00:54:12,804 Hold! 787 00:54:13,327 --> 00:54:15,318 More to the West! 788 00:54:16,367 --> 00:54:19,120 And hide your damned selves 789 00:54:19,167 --> 00:54:24,844 under the damned water! Under the damned water! 790 00:54:31,567 --> 00:54:36,766 The day has come, Young Lordship. 791 00:54:38,007 --> 00:54:42,285 The castle awaits your sovereignty! 792 00:54:42,327 --> 00:54:44,158 (Screams ) 793 00:54:45,967 --> 00:54:48,356 From horizon to horizon, 794 00:54:49,967 --> 00:54:52,845 all is yours! 795 00:54:54,727 --> 00:54:56,524 (Barquentine ) For God's sake! 796 00:54:57,607 --> 00:54:58,801 Pick it up! 797 00:54:58,847 --> 00:55:00,883 Pick it up, one of you! 798 00:55:00,927 --> 00:55:04,556 Give the little runt his stone back! And the ivy! 799 00:55:04,607 --> 00:55:08,441 - I'll do it. - Stay where you are, Beerspurt! 800 00:55:13,007 --> 00:55:15,316 (Barquentine ) Come back here, you idiot! 801 00:55:21,927 --> 00:55:23,679 (Gurgles ) 802 00:55:23,727 --> 00:55:25,524 (Screams ) 803 00:55:45,087 --> 00:55:46,884 (Baby wails) 804 00:55:48,367 --> 00:55:50,483 Come back, you idiot! 805 00:55:52,487 --> 00:55:54,284 (Laughs ) 806 00:56:06,367 --> 00:56:08,085 (Coos ) 807 00:56:20,327 --> 00:56:22,124 (Baby cries ) 808 00:56:23,647 --> 00:56:25,683 (Baby's cry echoes ) 809 00:56:46,807 --> 00:56:48,798 He's behaving his damned self. 810 00:56:56,887 --> 00:56:59,003 In view of all... 811 00:56:59,047 --> 00:57:00,799 ..I... 812 00:57:00,847 --> 00:57:03,236 ..warden of the immemorial rights.. 813 00:57:06,247 --> 00:57:09,125 ..do proclaim you... 814 00:57:09,367 --> 00:57:11,164 ..to be the only... 815 00:57:11,407 --> 00:57:13,921 ..legitimate Lord... 816 00:57:14,327 --> 00:57:16,124 ..between earth... 817 00:57:16,447 --> 00:57:18,563 ..and sky... 818 00:57:19,567 --> 00:57:21,444 oh, my weak heart! 819 00:57:22,087 --> 00:57:23,884 Titus... 820 00:57:24,207 --> 00:57:26,198 ..Groan... 821 00:57:26,847 --> 00:57:29,520 ..the seventy-seventh Earl... 822 00:57:29,607 --> 00:57:32,724 ..of Gormenghast. 823 00:57:34,007 --> 00:57:36,999 - (Barquentine ) Titus! - (All) Titus! 824 00:57:37,047 --> 00:57:40,119 Titus! Titus! Titus! 825 00:57:40,487 --> 00:57:47,120 Titus! Titus! Titus! Titus! Titus! 826 00:57:47,167 --> 00:57:49,158 (Crowd continues chanting his name ) 827 00:57:53,607 --> 00:57:55,404 (Baby cries ) 828 00:58:16,487 --> 00:58:19,285 How nice to be born a Groan. 829 00:58:19,327 --> 00:58:21,124 (Crowd chants )